lifehereandthere

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch; they will call each
other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but
it’s on
sale.

BAT HR OOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
bin, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night. (God how true!)

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows
about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house!!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle
it … and to the men who will enjoy reading it.